Swing Life Away
by Known Unknowns
Summary: What if House and Cameron's first date had ended differently?


**Swing Life Away**

_A/N: Edited on 5/2/2013 to lower suck factor. _

_Disclaimer: I do not own House MD. All rights go to David Shore and the Fox Production company._

* * *

We can't all be perfect, but Cameron came pretty damn close. That's what always stumped him. Why would a young, beautiful, intelligent woman, with her whole life ahead of her have any interest in a not-so-gracefully aging misanthrope?

These thoughts buzzed through his head as the young brunette sat across from him. Another shock to House, the fact that he was even on a date with Cameron. Her conditions for returning to work didn't make the faintest sense to House. When he had asked Cameron why she had liked him, she had gone into a rant, seemingly furious at the question.

_Was it because she didn't want me to know the answer? _House wondered. It seemed clear why she would love him, House suddenly realized as he stared into the pale blue eyes across the table from him. He was her sick puppy, how could he have not known?

She loved him because he was broken.

The very thought made House's stomach clench, but he could not bring himself to drop the young woman's gaze.

"House?" she asked, flashes of worry glowing in her eyes. _More so than usual. _House thought bitterly. She was always worried about him. _What would House do to self-destruct next?_

"I'm fine," he muttered. "Just... a headache." The excuse was feeble, and normally he knew Cameron would have seen right through it. However, not tonight it seemed. Plunging a hand into her purse, the worry in her eyes didn't abate.

"Do you want some-"

_"No." _

Cameron looked pained at his sudden harsh and angry refusal over something as simple as aspirin. House took a breath, trying to pinpoint the cause of his anger.

In that moment he had an epiphany, not unlike the ones he had on a weekly basis. Only this puzzle was much easier to solve, and House did not like the answer.

He was angry because he _needed_ Cameron. Because he indeed returned her feelings, although he would never tell the younger woman as long as he lived. Despite the grounding, tempering effect she had on him, the yin to his yang essentially, he would never tell the immunologist how much he truly cared for her.

In spite of his protestations that there was indeed a large chasm between love and hate, in that moment, he understood how people could say there was a thin line.

He loved Cameron, because in many ways she was perfect. Despite her insufferable morals, she was intelligent, witty, had a good sense of humor, not to mention drop dead gorgeous. But he hated her. Because he needed her, and admitting that he _needed_ another human being was painful. More than his leg could do to him.

There dinner became short and tense. House was unable to decide how to act, but he had only one idea in his head: to push Cameron as far away from him as possible. He _needed_ her. But needing and deserving are two different things. He knew he did not deserve someone so doting, so caring, so _good_.

After a long stretch of time where neither of them said anything, he left a tip and they awkwardly left the restaurant together. House regretted that they had not driven their separately. He still had to drive Cameron home.

The ride to Cameron's was just as silent as the last portion of their dinner date. He hoped she understood that this was all she would ever get from him - cold, distant silence.

He was not worth her time. Some people you simply can't heal, no matter how hard you try. He knew if he didn't scare Cameron off now, she would try. Hell, she would never stop trying. And she would only get hurt. The farther anyone dug into House's sphere of influence, the more damaged they became. He wasn't limited to self destruction.

When he pulled up in front of Cameron's apartment, he originally intended to simply wish her good night and let her walk her self to the door. She apparently expected this too, and got out and turned on her heel, but something roared inside House at that moment, and he stopped her by calling after her.

"Wait, I'll walk you to the door."

_Limp you to the door is more like it, _House thought as he hobbled quickly towards Cameron. He still felt the familiar swing of inferiority he despised so much. He knew that she was slowing her pace to walk next to him as they arrive at her door.

They stopped there in front of her apartment, and House could not help but take in her beautiful features. Pale skin illuminated in the moonlight, the stars dancing in her cerulean eyes. Her brunette hair hanging, glossy and natural on her shoulders.

"I'm sorry you had such a crappy night," House muttered apologetically, still wondering why he had walked her to the door. "I'm not all I'm cracked up to be." He wasn't trying to sound self-pitying, but it came out like that. Cameron said nothing, but continued to look at him, seemingly refusing to drop his gaze. House could not look away.

Utterly ignoring the screaming to _STOP! STOP! STOP!_ in his brain, he listened to his broken, frayed heart just once.

Taking her delicate, slender hands in his rough, calloused ones, he pressed his lips to much to his amazement, she kissed him back... and he had never felt so fulfilled. It was passionate, but light and tender, unlike any kiss he'd ever shared with someone.

He could not bring himself to break their kiss. After what seemed like hours, but in the same respect not very long at all, she pulled away, causing a slight sound of loss to escape from his throat, which he immediately hated himself for. Cameron merely smiled.

"So... when do I get to see you again?" she asked. It was as if someone else answered in his own voice, but nevertheless he was very satisfied with the response he gave.

"Tomorrow?"


End file.
